i can’t reach that shelf.

I can’t open this bottle.

Can I borrow him?

I am single. Not married. Not in a relationship. But like most single ladies, I have needs. Like I need someone to hang some curtains in my bedroom. And I need somebody to wash and wax my car (and check that strange noise it’s  making). I need someone to open this delicious bottle of New Zealand Cabernet Sauvignon. I can open the corked ones cuz I have an electronic opener but the NZ wines are screw top. 

That’s the thing though. I need a man for some very discrete tasks. I don’t want one around all the time. Just when I can’t get something to work (do you know what an Allen wrench is for?). The rest of the time, I’m fine.

So maybe I can borrow one. Like my friend, Edna’s husband, Warren, who is great at those things and is retired. Or Pierre, Anne’s husband, who’s a contractor! How handy is that?

But I’d be willing to pay for the service of a husband (not those services, you perv!). I have a box in my car that weighs so much I can’t figure out how I ever got it in there in the first place. For sure I am not getting it back upstairs. So, if I could call 1-800-Rent-a-man, I would. Especially if I can pay in 15 minute increments. And especially when I can’t get that bottle of wine open!